Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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