i just google imaged poop.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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