You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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