they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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