Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
