There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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