Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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