Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
