I'm passing your future prison.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
