He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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