Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
