I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
