last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
