C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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