You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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