I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
