I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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