You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize