if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
wow bdsm is so cute
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
