look no pants
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
