Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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