Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
foreskin is a definite game changer
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
