It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
