I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
