omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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