"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
