CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
