Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
