Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He told me they were just razor bumps!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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