Swine flu. Run for my life!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
