Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
