He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
