the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
