he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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