were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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