She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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