not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize