Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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