I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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