I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
