did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
