Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
whose parrot is this?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
