hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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