I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
