"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
