if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It was confusing and full of hummus
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
