Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
