Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
