she was so not down for the gang bang
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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