i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
