just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize