idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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