Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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