i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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