Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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