Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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