Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
